This installment of The One Board originally appeared in Bowlers Journal International, April, 2020
As we enter April, leaving behind an inexplicable obsession with college basketball (that keeps going into April despite being named after March) and moving into an inexplicable obsession with professional baseball (that begins in March and now only exists so people can enjoy an astronomical level of schadenfreude), we’re reminded of how simple sports are.
Play two halves; most points wins. Play nine innings; most runs wins. Entire field bowls 16 qualifying games over two eight-game blocks with the top 40 plus the next eight players aged 60 or above advancing to a third day of competition, opening with those players qualifying 25th and below plus the additional eight 60-year-olds wiping their scores and playing five more games of qualifying, with the top eight advancing to the first round of match play, where they’ll be joined by players qualifying 9th-24th, again dropping all existing scores, bowling five modified round-robin matches, the last of which is a position round, with the top eight based on cumulative totals plus 30 additional pins for each match victory emerging to compete in the second round of match play where those players qualifying first through eighth await, this time bowling six modified match-play games, the last of which is a position round, and the top five based on cumulative scores including 30 bonus pins per win move into the stepladder finals, the fourth seed bowls a one-game match against the fifth seed for the right to bowl a one-game match against the third seed for the right to bowl a one-game match against the second seed for the right to bowl a one-game match against the first seed for the championship, most pins wins.
Simple and intuitive, but never to be explained again.
That’s right: the Matrix of Fairness is no more. In its four years of existence, the Matrix of Fairness did its job, straddling the line between everyone-has-a-chance and you-still-can’t-beat-Walter Ray. Its beauty lied in its absurdity, its integrity held in place by the immense talent of some of the greatest to ever play the game.
And now, just as its name has permeated the bowling lexicon, we’re dropping its pins. No word yet if a format aged 60 or older will be taking over, but the Matrix of Fairness will be missed.
It’ll be missed for its stunning ability to avoid rolloffs more often than not despite an opportunity for 95 or so of them in a single day. It’ll be fondly remembered for its legitimately compelling position rounds as so many of the players were mathematically involved until the final shot. Many will reminisce about the only two times a player made it all the way from the cashers round to the title (Brian LeClair and Walter Ray Williams Jr.). No one will forget how the short blocks made the best in the world immediately shift into their otherworldly greatness gear, making them unbeatable no matter how many games were being bowled. A true study in athletic excellence could be done on this alone.
Most of all, it will be missed for its fairness.
While the Matrix of Fairness deserves to be mourned, we must look forward to the good things to come: the PBA50 Tour is coming back this month and it still features some of the best to have ever played the game. And, no matter the format, someone will win every event. Not only that, but the PWBA Tour returns this month as do the PBA Playoffs in addition to league championships being earned around the world.
Forget about college basketball and forget about professional baseball. Bowling season gets even stronger this month. And, if all goes well, it’ll do so with the utmost fairness.